How to Profit from Future Brett Favre Madness

The most fundamental form of investing in the stock market is value investing.  You put your money in companies that have been beaten up one way or the other but have incredibly cheap valuation.  It’s similar to drafting Michael Redd in the second round and having him develop into an All Star seasons later.   The same lesson can be learned in buying tickets to athletic events.  Here’s how I would have profited from the Brett Favre fiasco.

Step 1: When Brett Favre announces he may play for the Minnesota Vikings, understand that Favre is an asshole and will play the “in and out” game with any team he wants to play for.  Ticket prices will go up instantly but let the suckers snatch them up first because they’re paying a premium for these seats.

Bitch wants in again

Bitch wants in again

Step 2: When there is doubt Favre may just retire from the NFL, wait for the ticket prices to come down and start accumulating tickets.

Bitch having doubt

Bitch having doubt

Step 3: When Favre announces that he won’t be returning to the Vikings, this is when you accumulate all the cheap tickets out in the market.  People are panicking as all the tickets that are sold on Ebay and StubHub are more overvalued than the Florida housing market.  In effect, the prices will crash faster than Lehman Brothers.

Bitch cries to get out again

Bitch cries to get out again

Step 4: Wait for the egomanic to announce his return to football.  Ticket prices will shoot up faster than the national debt.  Unload all your tickets onto the secondary market and let the money come in.  DO NOT hold your tickets hoping that it will increase in value.  It won’t.  Most likely Brett Farve will be a baby back bitch and retire again.

Bitch gets what he wants, Again.

Bitch gets what he wants, Again.

Step 5 (optional): If you want to wait to sell your tickets hoping that as a big game gets closer (Green Bay), the price of tickets will increase dramatically, you should go to Vegas and use some of your profits to bet that Brett Favre will retire.  You always have to hedge will a player like Favre.

You better believe it might happen again.

You better believe it might happen again.

Note: this could also be used in David Beckham’s arrival to the galaxy or any other major event that will stir up drama.

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~ by richyrich006 on August 19, 2009.

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