4th and Long should really be Will you Blow Michael Irvin to get on the Cowboys
In case you haven’t heard, Michael Irvin, the former Dallas Cowboy wide receiver and Hall of Famer, started his reality show on SpikeTV called 4th and Long a couple of weeks ago. The show pins 6 DBs against 6 WRs to compete for a chance to be in the Cowboys summer camp. The winner unfortunately probably will have no chance of actually making the team after going through some hellish drills Irvin put them through.
Like the title of this blog, this show should actually be titled Will you blow Michael Irvin for a chance at Cowboys minicamp. The guy obviously hit a low point in his life when he’s on Pros vs. Joes in order to believe he’s still the greatest wideout ever to play the game. Through a string of arrests, Irvin is almost as well known for them as he is for his contribution on the field. So instead of challenges on the football field to determine whether these guys are “tough” enough to make it, a better way to assess their ability in the NFL is actually seeing if they can do the things Irvin does off the field.
1. Moving cocaine to Irvin without getting detected by the cops while dressed in a mink coat. The team that move a pound of cocaine into Irvin’s hotel room for him to snort without detection wins. The point of this drill is to make sure the boss is always high enough for him not to fall into a depressive state remembering that he is no longer relevant.
2. This drill will test each player’s ability to lie and try to convince the media that the drugs that you are moving aren’t yours. It’s actually your “friend’s” and you are trying to help this “friend” overcome a drug problem. All the while during this interview, you have to have a joint in your mouth at all time. The most convincing story wins.
3. This drill will see how you deal with a teammate you hate. The exercise will involve one person attempting to kill your teammate while the rest of the team gets a haircut. The first person to inflict a 2 inch wound across the neck wins. Bonus: If you are able to avoid court and settle with money, you will be invited to the Dallas training camp.